Woman with alabaster jar Luke 7:36-50
I had been saving that perfume for a long time. It had been given to me by a wealthy businessman who was one of my clients. He liked me and he treated me well. One day he just turned up with the perfume and I was overwhelmed by his generosity and kindness. It was worth a lot of money and I really hadnt done anything to deserve it. I had been kind to him I suppose. He was a lonely man with few friends and I felt sorry for him. I sometimes asked him to stay for supper after we had done what he payed me for. I didnt do that with other clients, but something about him made me treat him differently. I know he appreciated the company and the conversation. And I guess I did too. It can be a lonely and isolating existence when you do what I do for a living.
Of course I hadnt always been a street worker. I had grown up in a normal family, had a perfectly ordinary upbringing and was all set to be married and become a wife and mother when the accident happened. I had been pouring more oil into one of the lamps in our house and I didnt realise that the wick must have still been alight in the bottom of it. When I poured the oil in it caught fire and I dropped the lamp which set fire to my robes. I screamed and my brother came running in but by the time he had found something to wrap me in to put out the flames I had been badly burned. My left leg and foot were permanently damaged and after that I walked with a pronounced limp. My hands had also been burned because I had tried to put out the fire with them and my long hair had also caught as I had leaned down to try to get the burning fabric off my legs. My scalp on one side had no hair on it and whilst I tried to cover it over with the rest of my hair, I still looked a bit...... lopsided.
I know I was very blessed to have survived. And for a long time I was just thankful that I was alive. My family were amazing and took great care of me. But once my father died I realised that I could no longer stay at home. My mother could not afford to look after me and I was clearly no longer marriageable. So I decided to leave and get work as a housemaid in the home of one of the local Roman legionaries. It was not a job many Jewish women would consider doing. But I had little choice.
At first the work was fine and I was getting paid. I was able to afford a room above the stables at the inn. It was small but warm in the winter because of the animals and it suited me well. But after six months or so the master stopped paying me. And then the young master started to take advantage of me. I wont go into details of what he did but it was not good or right and I decided I had to leave. But that meant I could not afford to pay for my rooms. I went to see my landlord and explained that I was looking for work and I asked if he would let me stay and I would pay him as soon as I could. He told me that there were other ways to pay a debt. At first I didnt understand what he was asking. But he made himself pretty clear. And because I didnt want to go back to my mother and be a burden on her, and I couldnt face being thrown out on the street, and I couldnt see another option open to me, I agreed to ' pay' him what he wanted.
And so it began. At first I just went to my landlord's room whenever he called for me. But that only sorted paying for my accommodation and I did have to eat as well, so soon enough I was standing on street corners at night soliciting for business. It was a depressing and sordid way to survive. I was often used and abused, beaten, spat on, robbed, raped, and one time left for dead by some drunken idiot who decided to stab me. But for all the horrible clients there were some really nice good men who treated me well. My businessman friend who bought me the perfume was the nicest of these. Whenever he was in town I knew that I would have some respectful company, good conversation and experience some kindness.
The day I met Jesus was one of the most bizarre days of my life.
It started the night before when I had one of the bigwig town elders in my bed. He was a regular and I knew he was married with children and had some role in the synagogue which meant that his visits to me had to be top secret. One of the reason he and his sort came to me was because they could be assured of my discretion. We were lying in bed together afterwards when he suddenly started telling me about a Rabbi who had just arrived in town. Apparently this teacher had been doing miracles out in the countryside and in towns around here. Blind people seeing, lame people walking, lepers made well........ It all sounded pretty amazing to me but my client was not impressed. He told me that the town council were worried that this Rabbi was causing chaos wherever he went. Hundreds of people were following him. There was talk of revolution and some were saying that he was the promised Messiah who had come to overthrow the Romans. And then the religious leaders were outraged because he was forgiving people their sins.
When he said that, about the sins, I suddenly felt a huge wave of something rise up inside me and I heard a huge sob come out of my mouth. I burst into tears. My client looked surprised and a bit concerned. He asked if I was alright but I was sobbing so hard I couldnt really answer him. He got up out of bed and asked if he had done anything to upset me and I shook my head and told him, through my tears and snot that I was fine. Which was ridiculous because I clearly wasnt fine, but I genuinely had no idea what was wrong with me. My client looked exceedingly uncomfortable. Things weren't supposed to be emotionally complicated between us - that was the whole point. Sex with no emotional complications. He asked if I would mind if he left me and I waved him out. To be honest I just wanted to be on my own and work out what on earth was going on. He left. I continued to sob for a long time.
After about an hour the sobbing stopped. I sat by my window watching the sun go down and thought about what had just happened to me. It was definitely all connected to the notion that this Rabbi Jesus was forgiving people their sins. Even as I thought about that I could feel my eyes welling up again. I had never really thought about my sins before - although clearly they were many and manifest and I would never have dreamed of going near the synagogue or praying or anything. I knew that God would despise me because of the way I was living my life. I suppose Id never really considered that there might be any alternative . I didnt think about the afterlife much, but if I ever did, I guess I just assumed Id be consigned to damnation and that would be that. The thought that there might be forgiveness......
I spent the whole of that night and the following day consumed by the thought that I might be able to be forgiven for my sins. I really wasnt sure if the sins I had committed were 'forgivable'. Maybe the Rabbi had forgiven people who were living good lives and who had just transgressed a few minor commandments. The more I thought about it the more unlikely it seemed that anyone could offer me any forgveness. And besides, I had no way of knowing who this Rabbi was, where he would be and how I could gain any access to him. But by the middle of the afternoon I had decided that I had to at least try to see him. I left the house and went into town.
You have to understand that I really didnt go out much during the day because people pretty much despised me and I was liable to be spat on, harassed and generally given dog's abuse. But that day I felt brave and headed for my friend Marta's house to see if she had heard anything about where the Rabbi might be. Marta was surprised to see me but she had heard about Jesus and had actually been planning on going to hear him speak. She was full of stories of miracles and healings that Jesus had done and seemed very excited. She asked if I would like to go with her to the synagogue, but I told her I couldnt possibly go there. I would be expelled immediately. But I said that if she didnt mind I would wait in her house and then she could come back and tell me all about this Jesus and let me know what he said and did. She was happy to do that for me and as her husband was away on business said I could stay in the house and treat the place like home until she returned.
The time seemed to pass SO slowly, but eventually Marta came home and she was absolutely buzzing with excitement at what she had seen and heard. She repeated much of what Jesus had said - lots of stories illustrating what God is like. Some arguing with the holy men about the finer points of scriptural interpretation and then later, once he had left the synagogue, many incidents of people being healed of their diseases and ailments in the street and the market square. Marta said that hundreds of people were waiting outside the synagogue when Jesus came out and that he patiently spoke to and prayed for all of them. Which is why it had taken her so long to get home. She had stayed to watch for ages.
I was excited to hear all this, but it made me very upset that I hadnt been there. Then Marta shared some life changing news. She said she had overheard Simon the Pharisee inviting Jesus and his followers to his home for the evening meal. As soon as she said it my mind started working overtime. I knew where Simon lived. And I also knew his house servant who was a sometime client of mine. I thanked Marta and hurried home. I put on my best robe, brushed my hair and took the jar of perfume I had been saving to sell when I needed money. It was all I had to offer as any sort of payment. I wasnt sure if the Rabbi would want money for his prayers, and I didnt have much so perfume would have to do. It was the most valuable thing I had.
I waited in the evening gloom outside Simon's house until I saw all the guests enter, then I went to go and find Marcus the man servant. He was horrified to see me there and was about to cause a fuss when I managed to convince him to let me in. I told him that I had a gift for the new Rabbi and that all I was going to do was to leave it with one of the Rabbi's followers. He said he would give it to them for me but I insisted that it was valuable and that I had to give it myself. I didnt want to blackmail him, but he clearly knew I would be able to do that if I chose to, so he let me in telling me to be quick. The next thing I knew I was in a room full of distinguished and important men who were all looking at me aghast. I recognised a couple of faces as I crossed the room to the man who was clearly the focus of the event. A youngish man with a nice face who was clearly enjoying his meal. He looked up as I approached him. I knew I had to be quick because I was about to be thrown out on the street. So I took out my jar of perfume and was about to ask Jesus if he would take it and forgive me of my sins when he looked up and me and smiled. I stopped in my tracks and tears started to well up. I had expected outrage and anger and to be physically kicked from the room. But this man looked at me so kindly without a trace of negativity. Once again I found myself sobbing and I fell on my knees at his feet. The bottle of perfume hit the floor and broke open and the most wonderful smell filled the room. I was mortified - that was my gift to Jesus and now it was all over his feet. I tried to wipe it off with my hair. My hands were covered in the perfume oil and now so was my hair. I was sobbing. The men in the room were all on their feet and I could hear the outrage starting to bubble up. Simon was calling for his servants. I knew I was about to be thrown out and I hadnt even told Jesus what I was there for.
Then I heard Jesus speak
' Simon, tell me something. If someone owes you £500 and someone else owes you £50 and you write off both the debts, who is the most appreciative ?'
Simon replied ' Well, I suppose the person who had the biggest debt appreciates it more'
'Exactly! Simon, you see this woman? She has shown me great love this evening. When I came in you didnt give me a kiss of greeting but she has kissed my feet. You didnt provide a foot bath, but she has been washing my feet with her tears and you didnt anoint me with oil as is the custom but she has poured expensive perfume over me. She loves me so much because she has been forgiven for so much'
I stopped sobbing and sat back on my knees looking up at Jesus who was looking down at me. He reached out his hand to me and stood me up. Then he said ' Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you. Go in peace'
Im not sure what I had been expecting. I think I had probably envisaged some sort of prayers or ceremony or something.... concrete to happen. But all he did was say it. 'Your sins are forgiven'. I mean, anyone could say that couldnt they? And it would mean nothing at all. But somehow when he said it... when he said it.... it was true. I just knew it was true. Something about him exudes truth. My sins ARE forgiven. I dont understand how or why, but I know it is true.
There was a sharp intake of breath in the room. You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife. I didnt know what to say, so I didnt say anything. I just left and ran home as fast as I could with my heart singing. I felt exhilirated, exhausted, amazed. I felt light. I slept very very well that night.
Since that day things have changed for me. I used the money I still had at home to pay for two weeks rent and told my landlord that I would be paying in cash not in kind from now on. He wasnt too happy but I suppose he can get his kicks elsewhere and he does probably need the money more than the sex. I then went with Marta to the local laundry where she works and she persuaded the overseer there to give me a trial. The word had got out in town about what had happened at Simons, and it would appear that the followers of Jesus are happy to give people like me a second chance. Marta's boss is a believer. He was kind and said that if I did a good job he would pay me a fair wage. Which is what he has done. He has also introduced me to a group of people who are following Jesus and his teachings and for the first time in a very long time I feel that there might be a place for me to fit in.
Oh, and the most weird thing happened. My hair has started to grow back.
Of course I hadnt always been a street worker. I had grown up in a normal family, had a perfectly ordinary upbringing and was all set to be married and become a wife and mother when the accident happened. I had been pouring more oil into one of the lamps in our house and I didnt realise that the wick must have still been alight in the bottom of it. When I poured the oil in it caught fire and I dropped the lamp which set fire to my robes. I screamed and my brother came running in but by the time he had found something to wrap me in to put out the flames I had been badly burned. My left leg and foot were permanently damaged and after that I walked with a pronounced limp. My hands had also been burned because I had tried to put out the fire with them and my long hair had also caught as I had leaned down to try to get the burning fabric off my legs. My scalp on one side had no hair on it and whilst I tried to cover it over with the rest of my hair, I still looked a bit...... lopsided.
I know I was very blessed to have survived. And for a long time I was just thankful that I was alive. My family were amazing and took great care of me. But once my father died I realised that I could no longer stay at home. My mother could not afford to look after me and I was clearly no longer marriageable. So I decided to leave and get work as a housemaid in the home of one of the local Roman legionaries. It was not a job many Jewish women would consider doing. But I had little choice.
At first the work was fine and I was getting paid. I was able to afford a room above the stables at the inn. It was small but warm in the winter because of the animals and it suited me well. But after six months or so the master stopped paying me. And then the young master started to take advantage of me. I wont go into details of what he did but it was not good or right and I decided I had to leave. But that meant I could not afford to pay for my rooms. I went to see my landlord and explained that I was looking for work and I asked if he would let me stay and I would pay him as soon as I could. He told me that there were other ways to pay a debt. At first I didnt understand what he was asking. But he made himself pretty clear. And because I didnt want to go back to my mother and be a burden on her, and I couldnt face being thrown out on the street, and I couldnt see another option open to me, I agreed to ' pay' him what he wanted.
And so it began. At first I just went to my landlord's room whenever he called for me. But that only sorted paying for my accommodation and I did have to eat as well, so soon enough I was standing on street corners at night soliciting for business. It was a depressing and sordid way to survive. I was often used and abused, beaten, spat on, robbed, raped, and one time left for dead by some drunken idiot who decided to stab me. But for all the horrible clients there were some really nice good men who treated me well. My businessman friend who bought me the perfume was the nicest of these. Whenever he was in town I knew that I would have some respectful company, good conversation and experience some kindness.
The day I met Jesus was one of the most bizarre days of my life.
It started the night before when I had one of the bigwig town elders in my bed. He was a regular and I knew he was married with children and had some role in the synagogue which meant that his visits to me had to be top secret. One of the reason he and his sort came to me was because they could be assured of my discretion. We were lying in bed together afterwards when he suddenly started telling me about a Rabbi who had just arrived in town. Apparently this teacher had been doing miracles out in the countryside and in towns around here. Blind people seeing, lame people walking, lepers made well........ It all sounded pretty amazing to me but my client was not impressed. He told me that the town council were worried that this Rabbi was causing chaos wherever he went. Hundreds of people were following him. There was talk of revolution and some were saying that he was the promised Messiah who had come to overthrow the Romans. And then the religious leaders were outraged because he was forgiving people their sins.
When he said that, about the sins, I suddenly felt a huge wave of something rise up inside me and I heard a huge sob come out of my mouth. I burst into tears. My client looked surprised and a bit concerned. He asked if I was alright but I was sobbing so hard I couldnt really answer him. He got up out of bed and asked if he had done anything to upset me and I shook my head and told him, through my tears and snot that I was fine. Which was ridiculous because I clearly wasnt fine, but I genuinely had no idea what was wrong with me. My client looked exceedingly uncomfortable. Things weren't supposed to be emotionally complicated between us - that was the whole point. Sex with no emotional complications. He asked if I would mind if he left me and I waved him out. To be honest I just wanted to be on my own and work out what on earth was going on. He left. I continued to sob for a long time.
After about an hour the sobbing stopped. I sat by my window watching the sun go down and thought about what had just happened to me. It was definitely all connected to the notion that this Rabbi Jesus was forgiving people their sins. Even as I thought about that I could feel my eyes welling up again. I had never really thought about my sins before - although clearly they were many and manifest and I would never have dreamed of going near the synagogue or praying or anything. I knew that God would despise me because of the way I was living my life. I suppose Id never really considered that there might be any alternative . I didnt think about the afterlife much, but if I ever did, I guess I just assumed Id be consigned to damnation and that would be that. The thought that there might be forgiveness......
I spent the whole of that night and the following day consumed by the thought that I might be able to be forgiven for my sins. I really wasnt sure if the sins I had committed were 'forgivable'. Maybe the Rabbi had forgiven people who were living good lives and who had just transgressed a few minor commandments. The more I thought about it the more unlikely it seemed that anyone could offer me any forgveness. And besides, I had no way of knowing who this Rabbi was, where he would be and how I could gain any access to him. But by the middle of the afternoon I had decided that I had to at least try to see him. I left the house and went into town.
You have to understand that I really didnt go out much during the day because people pretty much despised me and I was liable to be spat on, harassed and generally given dog's abuse. But that day I felt brave and headed for my friend Marta's house to see if she had heard anything about where the Rabbi might be. Marta was surprised to see me but she had heard about Jesus and had actually been planning on going to hear him speak. She was full of stories of miracles and healings that Jesus had done and seemed very excited. She asked if I would like to go with her to the synagogue, but I told her I couldnt possibly go there. I would be expelled immediately. But I said that if she didnt mind I would wait in her house and then she could come back and tell me all about this Jesus and let me know what he said and did. She was happy to do that for me and as her husband was away on business said I could stay in the house and treat the place like home until she returned.
The time seemed to pass SO slowly, but eventually Marta came home and she was absolutely buzzing with excitement at what she had seen and heard. She repeated much of what Jesus had said - lots of stories illustrating what God is like. Some arguing with the holy men about the finer points of scriptural interpretation and then later, once he had left the synagogue, many incidents of people being healed of their diseases and ailments in the street and the market square. Marta said that hundreds of people were waiting outside the synagogue when Jesus came out and that he patiently spoke to and prayed for all of them. Which is why it had taken her so long to get home. She had stayed to watch for ages.
I was excited to hear all this, but it made me very upset that I hadnt been there. Then Marta shared some life changing news. She said she had overheard Simon the Pharisee inviting Jesus and his followers to his home for the evening meal. As soon as she said it my mind started working overtime. I knew where Simon lived. And I also knew his house servant who was a sometime client of mine. I thanked Marta and hurried home. I put on my best robe, brushed my hair and took the jar of perfume I had been saving to sell when I needed money. It was all I had to offer as any sort of payment. I wasnt sure if the Rabbi would want money for his prayers, and I didnt have much so perfume would have to do. It was the most valuable thing I had.
I waited in the evening gloom outside Simon's house until I saw all the guests enter, then I went to go and find Marcus the man servant. He was horrified to see me there and was about to cause a fuss when I managed to convince him to let me in. I told him that I had a gift for the new Rabbi and that all I was going to do was to leave it with one of the Rabbi's followers. He said he would give it to them for me but I insisted that it was valuable and that I had to give it myself. I didnt want to blackmail him, but he clearly knew I would be able to do that if I chose to, so he let me in telling me to be quick. The next thing I knew I was in a room full of distinguished and important men who were all looking at me aghast. I recognised a couple of faces as I crossed the room to the man who was clearly the focus of the event. A youngish man with a nice face who was clearly enjoying his meal. He looked up as I approached him. I knew I had to be quick because I was about to be thrown out on the street. So I took out my jar of perfume and was about to ask Jesus if he would take it and forgive me of my sins when he looked up and me and smiled. I stopped in my tracks and tears started to well up. I had expected outrage and anger and to be physically kicked from the room. But this man looked at me so kindly without a trace of negativity. Once again I found myself sobbing and I fell on my knees at his feet. The bottle of perfume hit the floor and broke open and the most wonderful smell filled the room. I was mortified - that was my gift to Jesus and now it was all over his feet. I tried to wipe it off with my hair. My hands were covered in the perfume oil and now so was my hair. I was sobbing. The men in the room were all on their feet and I could hear the outrage starting to bubble up. Simon was calling for his servants. I knew I was about to be thrown out and I hadnt even told Jesus what I was there for.
Then I heard Jesus speak
' Simon, tell me something. If someone owes you £500 and someone else owes you £50 and you write off both the debts, who is the most appreciative ?'
Simon replied ' Well, I suppose the person who had the biggest debt appreciates it more'
'Exactly! Simon, you see this woman? She has shown me great love this evening. When I came in you didnt give me a kiss of greeting but she has kissed my feet. You didnt provide a foot bath, but she has been washing my feet with her tears and you didnt anoint me with oil as is the custom but she has poured expensive perfume over me. She loves me so much because she has been forgiven for so much'
I stopped sobbing and sat back on my knees looking up at Jesus who was looking down at me. He reached out his hand to me and stood me up. Then he said ' Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you. Go in peace'
Im not sure what I had been expecting. I think I had probably envisaged some sort of prayers or ceremony or something.... concrete to happen. But all he did was say it. 'Your sins are forgiven'. I mean, anyone could say that couldnt they? And it would mean nothing at all. But somehow when he said it... when he said it.... it was true. I just knew it was true. Something about him exudes truth. My sins ARE forgiven. I dont understand how or why, but I know it is true.
There was a sharp intake of breath in the room. You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife. I didnt know what to say, so I didnt say anything. I just left and ran home as fast as I could with my heart singing. I felt exhilirated, exhausted, amazed. I felt light. I slept very very well that night.
Since that day things have changed for me. I used the money I still had at home to pay for two weeks rent and told my landlord that I would be paying in cash not in kind from now on. He wasnt too happy but I suppose he can get his kicks elsewhere and he does probably need the money more than the sex. I then went with Marta to the local laundry where she works and she persuaded the overseer there to give me a trial. The word had got out in town about what had happened at Simons, and it would appear that the followers of Jesus are happy to give people like me a second chance. Marta's boss is a believer. He was kind and said that if I did a good job he would pay me a fair wage. Which is what he has done. He has also introduced me to a group of people who are following Jesus and his teachings and for the first time in a very long time I feel that there might be a place for me to fit in.
Oh, and the most weird thing happened. My hair has started to grow back.
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