Rich young ruler - Matthew 19:16–30, Mark 10:17–31, Luke 18:18–30.
Every day I recite the Shema. I know the Torah and I serve in the synagogue. I give a tenth of my income to the synagogue too and ever since I can remember I have kept all the commandments. Because of this God has blessed me. Not only was I born into a noble Jewish family but my business dealings have gone well in recent years and I have gained prestige and wealth. I have lots of friends and I employ many people. I live in a mansion with fountains and marble pillars - I have everything I could need or want. But I can't sleep.
I havent slept well for years. The doctors have tried prescribing me sleeping draughts but nothng really works very well or for very long. My mother thinks I worry too much - and I suppose she is right. Business is always on my mind and I find it hard not to always be thinking about the next deal I have to make. But I dont think this is why I cant sleep. Most nights I lie awake and Im not thinking about work. Im thinking about why I feel lonely and worrying about what would happen to me if I were to drop down dead tomorrow.
My friend Simeon dropped down dead a couple of years ago. He was just leaving his house to go to the synagogue and he dropped down dead in the street. He was 27. The same age as me. I really makes you think when someone your own age just dies like that. I know the Saduccees say that there is no such thing as life after death, but I dont think that's right. We Pharisees believe that if you live a good life and follow all the commandments then God will grant you another life after you die. But how do you know if you have done enough, if you have lived a good enough life? These are the sort of thoughts I think when I cant sleep at night.
The day I met Jesus I nearly didnt meet him at all. I knew that he was in town and I had planned to arrange a meeting with him, but when I sent word to his disciples to ask him to come for an audience with me they sent word back that Jesus didnt ' do house calls'. I was somewhat outraged by this response. People generally didnt speak to me like that, not if they knew what was good for them. Initially I just wanted to ask Jesus some questions about the afterlife as I had heard he was an excellent teacher and I thought he might have some light to shed on the matter. When he refused to come and meet me I almost decided just to forget about it and get on with my day. But as the hours ticked on I became more and more unsettled. I couldnt focus on what I was doing and in the end I decided that if Jesus wouldnt come to me I would have to go to him.
I had heard he was teaching in the synagogue so decided to head off down there after Minchah afternoon prayers. But when I arrived I was told that he had left town already. And for some reason that information threw me into a bit of a panic. I suddenly realised that I really needed to speak to this Rabbi, so I asked someone which way he had gone and I hurried across town to try to catch up with him. It has been alleged that some people saw me running on that afternoon, but that would have been most improper. Suffice it to say that I walked very quickly and finally I saw Jesus close to the edge of town, surrounded by a small band of followers and some hangers-on.
As I approached him I tried to catch his attention but there was noise of people talking and he was laughing with someone about something so in the end I sort of threw myself in front of him and ended up on my knees in the road looking up at him. Im sure I made a complete fool of myself.
Jesus stopped and looked down at me and the nice neat question I had prepared in my head to ask him just vanished into thin air. Instead I heard myself saying ' Good teacher, please tell me what it is that I have to do so that I can be sure Im going to have eternal life when I die'
Jesus looked a bit cross and said to me ' Why are you calling me ' good'. Someone of your standing and learning should surely know that you cant call anyone good except God. You know what the law says. Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal or bear false witness, honour your parents....
'I have done all these things religiously since I was a small child' I said ' but these things havent brought me peace. I still feel afraid. Im still not sure Ive done enough'
Jesus looked at me again and the expression on his face changed. He softened and smiled at me. Then he stretched out his hand and helped me up from my knees ' I know' he said. And I cant explain it, but when he looked at me and said that, I felt that he was saying that he knew everything. It was as if he could see right into me and knew everything about me. And it felt to me that he liked what he saw in me. It was very peculiar, but it was nice. Then he said ' There is one more thing you need to do if you want to be sure' My heart skipped a beat. This was it, this was the moment he was going to tell me what I needed to do and everything would change. The final piece would fall into place. I looked at him intently and waited for what he was going to tell me. I knew I had to concentrate hard so that I wouldnt forget if it was some obscure scriptures I needed to learn or some practice I needed to adopt.
' You need to sell everything you have and give it to the poor and then you will have treasures in heaven instead of having them here. Here they only tangle you up. If you can sacrifice them and follow me then you will truly know where you belong. Follow me' He smiled at me, such a warm and loving smile and my heart broke at what he was asking me to do. How could I give up on the business I had worked so hard to build? What would my family and friends and colleagues think if I just left everything to follow a wandering Rabbi? And how would that answer my questions about life and death and beyond? It didnt make sense.
Jesus stood for a minute or two and then he put his arms out and embraced me in a big hug. It was as if he knew what was going on in my head. He and his friends continued on their way and I was left standing in the road wondering how selling everything could possibly be the answer to the restlessness in my soul. I still wonder that today. I think about Jesus often and ponder what would have happened if I had made a different choice. Perhaps I would have slept better. I still lie awake at night. But now I lie awake thinking about what Jesus said.
I havent slept well for years. The doctors have tried prescribing me sleeping draughts but nothng really works very well or for very long. My mother thinks I worry too much - and I suppose she is right. Business is always on my mind and I find it hard not to always be thinking about the next deal I have to make. But I dont think this is why I cant sleep. Most nights I lie awake and Im not thinking about work. Im thinking about why I feel lonely and worrying about what would happen to me if I were to drop down dead tomorrow.
My friend Simeon dropped down dead a couple of years ago. He was just leaving his house to go to the synagogue and he dropped down dead in the street. He was 27. The same age as me. I really makes you think when someone your own age just dies like that. I know the Saduccees say that there is no such thing as life after death, but I dont think that's right. We Pharisees believe that if you live a good life and follow all the commandments then God will grant you another life after you die. But how do you know if you have done enough, if you have lived a good enough life? These are the sort of thoughts I think when I cant sleep at night.
The day I met Jesus I nearly didnt meet him at all. I knew that he was in town and I had planned to arrange a meeting with him, but when I sent word to his disciples to ask him to come for an audience with me they sent word back that Jesus didnt ' do house calls'. I was somewhat outraged by this response. People generally didnt speak to me like that, not if they knew what was good for them. Initially I just wanted to ask Jesus some questions about the afterlife as I had heard he was an excellent teacher and I thought he might have some light to shed on the matter. When he refused to come and meet me I almost decided just to forget about it and get on with my day. But as the hours ticked on I became more and more unsettled. I couldnt focus on what I was doing and in the end I decided that if Jesus wouldnt come to me I would have to go to him.
I had heard he was teaching in the synagogue so decided to head off down there after Minchah afternoon prayers. But when I arrived I was told that he had left town already. And for some reason that information threw me into a bit of a panic. I suddenly realised that I really needed to speak to this Rabbi, so I asked someone which way he had gone and I hurried across town to try to catch up with him. It has been alleged that some people saw me running on that afternoon, but that would have been most improper. Suffice it to say that I walked very quickly and finally I saw Jesus close to the edge of town, surrounded by a small band of followers and some hangers-on.
As I approached him I tried to catch his attention but there was noise of people talking and he was laughing with someone about something so in the end I sort of threw myself in front of him and ended up on my knees in the road looking up at him. Im sure I made a complete fool of myself.
Jesus stopped and looked down at me and the nice neat question I had prepared in my head to ask him just vanished into thin air. Instead I heard myself saying ' Good teacher, please tell me what it is that I have to do so that I can be sure Im going to have eternal life when I die'
Jesus looked a bit cross and said to me ' Why are you calling me ' good'. Someone of your standing and learning should surely know that you cant call anyone good except God. You know what the law says. Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal or bear false witness, honour your parents....
'I have done all these things religiously since I was a small child' I said ' but these things havent brought me peace. I still feel afraid. Im still not sure Ive done enough'
Jesus looked at me again and the expression on his face changed. He softened and smiled at me. Then he stretched out his hand and helped me up from my knees ' I know' he said. And I cant explain it, but when he looked at me and said that, I felt that he was saying that he knew everything. It was as if he could see right into me and knew everything about me. And it felt to me that he liked what he saw in me. It was very peculiar, but it was nice. Then he said ' There is one more thing you need to do if you want to be sure' My heart skipped a beat. This was it, this was the moment he was going to tell me what I needed to do and everything would change. The final piece would fall into place. I looked at him intently and waited for what he was going to tell me. I knew I had to concentrate hard so that I wouldnt forget if it was some obscure scriptures I needed to learn or some practice I needed to adopt.
' You need to sell everything you have and give it to the poor and then you will have treasures in heaven instead of having them here. Here they only tangle you up. If you can sacrifice them and follow me then you will truly know where you belong. Follow me' He smiled at me, such a warm and loving smile and my heart broke at what he was asking me to do. How could I give up on the business I had worked so hard to build? What would my family and friends and colleagues think if I just left everything to follow a wandering Rabbi? And how would that answer my questions about life and death and beyond? It didnt make sense.
Jesus stood for a minute or two and then he put his arms out and embraced me in a big hug. It was as if he knew what was going on in my head. He and his friends continued on their way and I was left standing in the road wondering how selling everything could possibly be the answer to the restlessness in my soul. I still wonder that today. I think about Jesus often and ponder what would have happened if I had made a different choice. Perhaps I would have slept better. I still lie awake at night. But now I lie awake thinking about what Jesus said.
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